A little over a year…

… and my world has gone to hell. My world has been turned upside down and for a while I felt like I was going to die. The man that I not only loved, but was in love with, decided that he was going to find his ex from high school (17 years ago) and make a new life with her. She left her husband of 16 years and he left his fiancé of 6 years in order to go back to the horribly selfish teenager that he was when he was in high school.

To see a man who had tried so hard to bring himself up from such a horrible past by working hard and making a life for himself where he was not dependent on anyone but himself become a man who is now on welfare because he wants to act like a love sick teenager is disgusting. He has come to a point in his life where he would rather live with someone who will destroy his life and take away his time from his children in order to fuck random people from bars in Hollywood without condoms because it seems fun rather than taking care of his children. People like him just deserve to die. They take advantage of the system, he is on welfare because he doesn’t want to work anymore so he quit his job and lives off of the state just like his ghetto trash girlfriend who is a lying manipulative person just like him.

There was a point where she and I met and talked and she tried to play me by saying she had no clue about what was going on… later I found letters that she had written him from the very beginning saying how she hated him coming home to me and sleeping with me. They both lie and try to manipulate  every situation they are in in order to get what they want out of the situation. There was so much time spent with me in his bed while he was telling her we were living completely separate… so much time spent going to the movies and time spent with his children that he was telling her I wasn’t there. God how can someone do this type of thing to another human being? Do people not realize that they aren’t in some make believe television show, that they are ruining another person’s life? I bet they never even give it a second thought. 

How can someone be so sincere to one person and then go behind their back and be so sincere to another person… only to be lying completely to both people. God I can’t believe that someone I loved so deeply could have done this type of thing… makes me kind of wonder about my judgment in general doesn’t it? After six years you would think you know a person huh?

Then to have them turn around and tell your child (even though I am not his birth mother I was still Mom to him) that everything was a lie, that all of the time spent school, the hours spent talking, the times spent together were all a lie... how does an autistic child deal with that kind of thing? They blame themselves, that's how...fucking asshole parents that don't learn from their parents mistakes... but choose to repeat them because it is easier than making the effort to be responsible parents. People like that make my heart hurt.